These Cultural Myths Keep You Emotionally Sick and Unhappy in the Modern-Age

by Justin Deschamps, 

What if the story of our culture was wrong? What if the expectations we have about life are unrealistic? Would this make us unhappy, even mentally unwell? In short, the answer is an overwhelming yes. In the following must-see presentation, you’ll discover some of the most fundamental beliefs about life were invented only a few hundred years ago, and have been causing us problems ever since.

Culture’s All-Powerful Influence

How could cultural influence—expectations and beliefs about life—so radically and fundamentally affect us?

To sum it up quickly, think of the idea of keeping up with the Joneses.

In the past, 150-years ago, if you lived in the mid-West, you were a frontiersman. Your quality of life was measured by whether or not you were surviving. Those who live in the Alaska frontier can relate. The communities that formed in frontier areas were filled with people who valued the simple things in life—surviving the harsh frontier conditions was their main concern.

Flash forward just 100 years, and things have changed drastically.

There’s electricity, running water, and advances that make life much easier to live. Before this, all your time was taken up by keeping a roof over your head and feeding your family. But now, through mass media, you’re encouraged to buy a car, own a TV, get the latest fashions from the Sears catalog and so on. And if you don’t do these things, that everyone else seems to be doing, you’re a social parya—you’re weird.

Why did this happen? Because the measure of what success looked like changed—the ideal changed. And this measure was largely changed due to the advent of mass media and consumer culture advertising.

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Here’s another example that is more personal.

Let’s say you grew up in a small mountain village in India. You’re a young woman who is trained, through her culture, to think womanhood means finding a husband, raising a family, and so on. If that young woman does these things, she’ll be respected and revered in her community. Whether or not these cultural values are good isn’t the point. The point is, if we pull that young woman out of her small-town community, and drop her in New York City, she’ll have to change her values to fit in. She’ll have to do more than just be a homemaker to rise up the ranks of women’s culture in the West. She might decide that alongside trying to start a family, she also needs to get a college education and look for a career where she can earn the respect of Western women.

Psychologically, we know that ideals and norms greatly affect how we see the world. A false ideal can be devastating, because if you try to realize the idea, and can’t, it produces strong negative emotions of disempowerment, costing self-worth and sanity in the process.

Ever heard of body dysmorphia?

Ever heard of Snapchat dysmorphia?

Yes, it’s real, and it’s a glaring example of what we’re talking about. People are getting plastic surgery to look like what they see in Snapchat.

If you’re starting to feel a bit uncomfortable, good. This is a healthy reaction to comprehending the magnitude of what’s happening.

The Creation of Consumer Culture

Society is being shaped by cultural forces that 99.99% of us don’t know exist.

Alain de Botton is the founder of The School of Life, author of the book The School of Life: An Emotional Education.

Botton is known for blowing the minds of audience members as he shares the secret of why modern-day people are so unhappy, all with a delightful touch of humor. Frankly, such truths are better shared in a lighthearted way.

His work is exceptional because it brings you through the social changes in history that shape the world we live in today.

As you might expect, not all these social changes were good for us. As a matter of fact, combining Botton’s research with those who study social engineering (the so-called dark occult), it appears the underlying way we see the world changed drastically during the Age of Enlightenment—during the 1700s. These changes took hold in the 18th century when technological advances changed society as we know it.

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For most of human history, cottage industry ruled the day, meaning human hands manufactured or produced almost all the goods and services available in society. Within this system, small-scale family-run operations produced almost everything, with the merchant class being the center of financial power. But with the development of industrial-scale manufacturing, products could be made on huge scales, and most importantly, without highly skilled workers.

What does this mean? It means the rich and powerful didn’t need you to be competent, highly-skilled, and wise, capable of creating many things, and in the process, living a fulfilled life. No, as a matter of fact, the more fulfilled you are the fewer products you’ll need to buy, so a new way of seeing your life needed to be invented, one that would create endless needs for consumer goods, so big business could keep making money.

Enter Romanticism. 

Romanticism was a literary, musical, intellectual movement that started in the early 1800s. It radically changed the nature of love, what it means to be a good upstanding member of a community, and whether or not you should be open about your emotions and personal experiences with life.

The following presentation by Botton discusses this romantic shift in great detail.

What’ so bad about Romanticism?

Here’s one point. It changed the cultural expectations of the individual. Prior to this shift, everyone was struggling with life, and for the most part, no one expected you to put on a false air of togetherness. But today, it’s expected that when you go out in public, you are “presentable”—meaning you act like you’re happy, fine, and weathering the challenges of life without any problems.

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When you hear someone ask you… “How are you today?” If you answer with anything other than, “Good thanks! How are you?!” What will happen?

What if you say: “Actually, my life is a wreck. My boss hates me for wanting to do a good job at work. My kids are unruly brats that I can’t ever seem to satisfy. And my husband spends most of his free time watching sports, becoming a professional couch surfer.”

You’ll probably be thought of as a little weird. People might whisper behind your back that you might have some problems. But who can really claim their life is perfect? No one, that’s who.

The false ideal of togetherness, that we maintain as a grand social illusion, prevents us from being honest about the hardships of life, which also prevents us from sharing these very human experiences with our fellows to gain support, solace, and fraternity.

Through the behavior and attitudes of our parents, playmates, schools, teachers, work-peers, and most importantly, mass media, many of us are encouraged to believe everyone has it together. While this isn’t rational, we tend to assume everyone is managing their stress, life challenges, and tragedies easily. And if we have an episode where we get triggered, upset, or fall apart, we tend to feel like there’s something wrong with us personally. But is there really?

When you find out you’re in a loveless marriage, and your job has no hope of fulfillment and your constantly struggling to pay your bills despite working overtime or multiple jobs, what is the “healthy reaction?”

Should you just smile and carry on like everything is OK? Should you satisfy yourself with a few beers, a bong hit or two, and the occasional binge-watching of Netflix? Are you suffering from a “brain chemistry imbalance” that requires anti-depressants? Or are your strong feelings of unfulfillment, disillusionment, and anxiety normal reactions to an unhealthy life?

I’ll let you answer that question on your own.

7 Culture Myths to Consider

Here are seven cultural myths that we use today;

1. Emotion is more fundamental to the human experience than logic.
2. You were born the way you are. You can’t change that. You’re a victim of your genetics.
3. There is no objective morality. WE decide what is right or wrong based on human consensus.
4. The person who was the angriest, hurt, or upset wins the argument, not logic or reason.
5. Work is always boring, unfulfilling and hard. Pleasure comes from escape not the embrace of personal growth through hard work.
6. A soul mate exists out there for you, where you never have to grow, change, or gain life wisdom. If your love life isn’t flawless, it’s not you, it’s them.
7. What makes people happy are the things they buy and the experiences they have. If you lack material abundance you can’t really be happy. (This one is tricky, but if you look at advertising, this is the primary message).

Obviously this is only a handful of the ones at work in our culture.

Here’s the mindblowing presentation that left many in the audience questioning everything they believe and value.

Buy Book The School of Life: An Emotional Education

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Final Thoughts

There’s much more to say on this topic. Earlier this year, I gave a 90-minute presentation at a conference that went much deeper.

In short, the whole of our social reality, the nature of the civilized world, is shaped by what we believe and what we value.

But, as a people, we’ve lost touch with our ability to shape culture directly. In the space left behind, less than ethical forces and interests have manipulated what we think everyone else does, believes, and values.

Perhaps life could be better if we, as a people, took back the power to re-examine the cultural beliefs and values we were given as children. In doing so, the life of future generations might be made easier by forming a culture that better works with reality, instead of imposing false ideals that go against it.

 – Justin

The preceding is a Stillness in the Storm original creation. Please share freely. 

About The Author

Justin Deschamps has been a truth seeker all his life, studying physics, psychology, law, philosophy, and spirituality, and working to weave these seemingly separate bodies of information into a holistic tapestry of ever expanding knowledge. Justin is a student of all and a teacher to some, sharing what he has discovered with those who are ready and willing to take responsibility for making the world a better place. The goal of his work is to help himself and others become better truth-seekers, and in doing so, form a community of holistically minded individuals capable of creating world healing projects for the benefit of all life—what has been called The Great Work. Check out his project Stillness in the Storm to find some of his work. Follow on Twitter @sitsshow, Facebook Stillness in the Storm, and minds.com.

Stillness in the Storm Editor: Why did we post this?

Psychology is the study of the nature of mind. Philosophy is the use of that mind in life. Both are critically important to gain an understanding of as they are aspects of the self. All you do and experience will pass through these gateways of being. The preceding information provides an overview of this self-knowledge, offering points to consider that people often don’t take the time to contemplate. With the choice to gain self-awareness, one can begin to see how their being works. With the wisdom of self-awareness, one has the tools to master their being and life in general, bringing order to chaos through navigating the challenges with the capacity for right action.

– Justin

Not sure how to make sense of this? Want to learn how to discern like a pro? Read this essential guide to discernment, analysis of claims, and understanding the truth in a world of deception: 4 Key Steps of Discernment – Advanced Truth-Seeking Tools.

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Stillness in the Storm Editor’s note: Did you find a spelling error or grammatical mistake? Send an email to corrections@stillnessinthestorm.com, with the error and suggested correction, along with the headline and url. Do you think this article needs an update? Or do you just have some feedback? Send us an email at sitsshow@gmail.com. Thank you for reading.

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