(Explore Your Mind) Trying to live up to other people’s expectations can be difficult. But why do we make expectations? What purpose do they serve? In this article, learn about the role that expectations play in our lives and how to manage them in a healthy way.
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by Staff Writer, April 8th, 2019
Trying to live up to other people’s expectations can mean compromising who you really are and what you want to do with your life. Other people’s expectations affect you in different ways, depending on what stage of your life you’re in. Let’s delve deeper into this idea.
Expectations are preconceived ideas that help you better manage all the information you’re exposed to every day. In other words, they help you understand your environment and make decisions in spite of uncertainty.
Expectations also lead to emotional stability because they help you be prepared for things that might happen. Thus, expectations are really useful as long as you understand that they don’t represent reality, as the things you expect to happen sometimes don’t happen.
Trying to live up to other people’s expectations means compromising who you really are.
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Why do people create expectations?
Expectations help you understand the world around you. After all, you’ve been shaped by your surroundings since you were born. Your parents, teachers, caregivers, and friends have all had a hand in shaping who you are over the course of your life.
![A girl trying to live up to other people's expectations.](https://exploringyourmind.com/wp-content/uploads/2019/03/girl-with-sand-falling-through-her-fingers-e1553618505546.jpg)
To some extent, you’re what other people want you to be because adapting to your environment is what ensures survival. Humans are social creatures, which means we need to live in harmony with other people. Changing our behavior based on our surroundings helps ensure that harmony.
Accepting reality
Everyone has a more-or-less defined personality. Your unique personality affects every aspect of your life. So, as aware as you might be about how expectations work, the changes that other people want you to make won’t always be welcome.
The reality is that you can’t adapt to everyone because different people expect different things from you. Consequently, you have to get used to the idea that you can’t please everyone and aren’t obligated to fulfill everyone else’s expectations.
The effects of expectations
One complicating factor of expectations is that the ones we don’t think we’ll live up to come from people that we depend on for stability. If, for example, the Pygmalion effect causes a supervisor to form a bad opinion of an employee, they’ll act accordingly even if the employee is completely blameless.
Also, if you start a relationship with high expectations, it probably won’t be healthy or positive.
![A guy looking out at a wintry lake.](https://exploringyourmind.com/wp-content/uploads/2019/03/guy-looking-out-at-a-wintery-lake.jpg)
Studies show that, in an educational setting, students who are favored by their teachers have certain advantages. They get more attention, receive more frequent feedback, and have more opportunities to try again if they make mistakes.
Is it possible to change other people’s expectations?
Although it’s complicated, it is possible to influence the image other people have of you. If their opinion of you is negative, you can change the way they think with the way you act.
Of course, it isn’t always possible to do this, which is why you should focus your energy on the people who matter, such as your family, friends, and coworkers.
Unfortunately, human beings are better at making mistakes than getting things right. That’s why it’s so easy to think negatively of other people. It’s important to try to change that tendency because your behavior tends to conform to the image you’ve created. For example, if you believe that someone is unfriendly, you’re more likely to be unfriendly towards them, which creates a self-fulfilling prophecy.
Although being aware of the influence that other people’s expectations have on you is important, you should also try to let go of the unfounded negative expectations you have of other people.
Stillness in the Storm Editor: Why did we post this?
Psychology is the study of the nature of mind. Philosophy is the use of that mind in life. Both are critically important to gain an understanding of as they are aspects of the self. All you do and experience will pass through these gateways of being. The preceding information provides an overview of this self-knowledge, offering points to consider that people often don’t take the time to contemplate. With the choice to gain self-awareness, one can begin to see how their being works. With the wisdom of self-awareness, one has the tools to master their being and life in general, bringing order to chaos through navigating the challenges with the capacity for right action.
– Justin
Not sure how to make sense of this? Want to learn how to discern like a pro? Read this essential guide to discernment, analysis of claims, and understanding the truth in a world of deception: 4 Key Steps of Discernment – Advanced Truth-Seeking Tools.
Stillness in the Storm Editor’s note: Did you find a spelling error or grammar mistake? Send an email to [email protected], with the error and suggested correction, along with the headline and url. Do you think this article needs an update? Or do you just have some feedback? Send us an email at [email protected]. Thank you for reading.
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