(Toby Cowern) The following is a conversation between Selco and Toby on how the mandates of the past two years have impacted the youth of today. For the full video, scroll down the to the bottom of the post.
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by Toby Cowern, April 6th, 2022
Toby
So, up until now, we’ve been – we’ve been talking in very broad terms with a huge amount of information coming in over a period of time. And that’s great because there’s a lot of things to discuss, there’s a lot of things to consider. But what we’d like to cover just briefly here now is something very, very specific. So it’s a much tighter, much more focused, should we say, and completely unexpected? Unexpectedly, sorry, completely expectedly. But very worryingly, we’re already starting to see new articles, reports, summaries, assessments of how COVID policies are affecting youth and children very, very much the negative.
And this is something that we want to get on people’s radars as early as possible because, quite simply, the longer these children are left to cope with these struggles, even if the lockdowns or the restrictions over how long that lingers in them. Or how long it takes to process what’s happened to them is going to be how bad it will be moving forward.
So what we want to do first is talk about what it looks like when it’s gone wrong. And then what can we do to get it right, so Selco, obviously, you’ve written about extensively during the conflict there. In the region, children, sadly, were almost an afterthought. They just sort of got locked away and fed to be safe. And that was it for – for significant periods of time. Could you just tell us a little bit about how it actually was?
Selco
Yes. Problem was with this type because times and dangers were horrible. And many around us – around everybody. People, people tend to worry a lot how to protect their kids. Which is completely normal. And they protected a lot. But I think two things here where we used to be wrong in that times because over protecting the kids as a result of that all that people actually do with kids is kind of to keep them physically – physically protected. Physically safe from every danger. And – and that was it.
Because other thing was that of course, every parents are the older family members, where you used to have a lot of things to do, a lot of jobs. So as soon as they physically protected the kids, they thought their task was done. And it was kind of done from the physical part of thing. But you – you had a whole bunch of kids in, in let’s say sensitive years of the of their youth are looking on, on values and – and horrible amounts of violence around them. And those – all those kids were alone, what – what was happening without help of an older family members, majority, at least majority of those kids. And as a result, they grow up in, let’s say, problematic young people.
Toby
Not only that but with a total lack of infrastructure to deal with and process those problems, right? Because I imagine a lot of the postwar rebuild period was dealing with the physical injuries, especially in that era. And therefore, mental health aspects were sort of just not addressed, I’m guessing.
Selco
It is – it was a process that lasted for years. Because first there – there used to be hears of war and violence. Then after that, it was years of very bad economic situation or in a situation where everybody kinda was trying to catch up with all the life to rebuild their houses and their lives and their job. And again, even in that situation, people kind of forget to deal with mental problems of their kids. Mental problems that where kids brought from the – from the years of violence from the years of war. And to keep it really simple and short. There used to be – there was whole bunch of kids that – that thought that all problems should be dealt with violence because there – there used to watch that for years.
Now, if you want to transfer this for today’s – today’s situation. Tomorrow olden times to this whole pandemic situation, it is not so drastic. Like in my time. But problems are kinda same on bit over scale. But those problems are still huge problems, you still have a whole bunch of people that want to keep their kids safe but do not work with their kids enough.
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Toby
And I think the modern concern is how children are being kept safe to a point is escaped to the digital – to digital space. And they’re just sort of plugged into that. And it’s assumed that they’re safe there. But of course, in terms of social interaction, sociability, development, healthy growth, it’s, it’s not good at all.
And interesting, I’m gonna make this assumption, clarify if I’m wrong. When you’re on about the use of grew up after the war, dealing with things with violence, this isn’t sort of 50 cops in the play park type stuff. It’s going to be serious, significant violence. Right from the outset. That’s how they solved their problems, right?
Selco
Of course not. Of course, not. I’m talking about things where you had or have 18 or 19 or 20 years old, or younger man who, who have in his mind opinion that it is not problem. Fact that he does not have money or job, or finally because he can acquire money and cars and, and whatever with violence because he was seeing that for years. And he had opinion he in his head that it is normal in today, let’s say modern times to acquire all that with violence because wireless sold things. If you – if you understand what I’m trying to say here.
Toby
Yeah. And that’s the only danger counterbalance in that process, or guidance or morals or ethics is that their own observations was? This is how the world works. And it functions?
Selco
No, because people mostly didn’t have time to work to explain to their kids what is happening. At least to some to – some level that – that kids could understand what is happening around them. Why is that all violence happening? And what’s going on? What are the consequences of all that? People most didn’t have time for that.
Toby
So this is a key takeaway for today is – is in this time allocation concept. That if you’ve got children or youth in your life, or near family or even extended family. We really want to encourage you to take the time to talk with them and see how they’re feeling. And if they’re struggling with anything to help them in that process.
And we’re aware for young families, they have mom and dad are working from home and trying to homeschool at the same time. And they’re in that real pressure-cooker environment. They don’t have the time. So this is where you know, the aunts, the uncles, the cousins, the older generation can possibly have the biggest profound impact by, you know, spending time with that child or with that youth. In my mind, ideally outside the natural environment, because that’s so healthy anyway. And just give them that time to talk and to breathe and to speak and express any concerns and get some reassurance or get some guidance or get some insight. So they don’t move forward with this distorted view of what’s happening in the world. Especially around these formative years of sort of prepubescents through the teenage years, right.
Selco
Yeah, oh, it is simple like that. People, sorry, kids build their own world inside their heads, and they have their own set of moral codes and norms and narratives. And kids need help from their parents. In normal times. If they do not get those help, they will set those normal moral rules based on online world and what they see on the internet, for example. And that can be absolutely wrong. So you need to work with your kids, even in any kind of situation. No matter how bad is outside, you need to talk and walk and work with your kids.
Toby
And I think we should never underestimate how resilient children are. And I remember listening to lecture a few years ago about a project that was rehabilitating child soldiers from the Congo. And it was just mind-blowing what these kids had been doing. I mean, I’m on about kids, you know. The AKs were taller than they were, and they were out killing people. And typically killed their own family first before they get the protection the army unit and, you know, amazing success. But ideally, don’t let it get that bad. Even we can rehabilitate children. Well, in an ideal world, we would catch them as early as possible, and any concerns or wobbles, they have an end. It’s been two years now that time has flown by, and you might look anything up, but they’re doing okay.
But there’s anyone actually, you know, sees that initiative to take this child on one side and have that concerted conversation or conversations over time with them. Just to make sure they’re okay or if they’ve got any concerns or questions or queries or anything they’re not feeling good about. Because this is something, it’s definitely better to catch early and correct early on. Then allow them to deteriorate both in mental and physical health. And then try and rehabilitate to recover from that viewpoint. That’s a much longer and, dare I say, more traumatic process quite simply.
Selco
It is very simple. Based on my experience, kids are like clay or wax, if that makes sense to you. They are being formed by influences. If you do not take part in that forming, something else will. And be advised that they will usually if you do not take part in bad times, they will be formed on bad ways because they are bad influences in bad times.
Toby
That’s a great example a very nice metaphor. Okay, so that was the takeaway for today. But let’s give the youth the credit they deserve and keep them in mind. And work with that as much as you possibly can. Yes, definitely. All right, once again, thanks, Selco.
Selco
Thank you.
What are your thoughts?
What effects have you seen? How have children, teens, and young adults different now than before the mandates? Do you think this is long-lasting? Share your thoughts in the comments.
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