(Exploring your Mind) One of the pillars that has a tremendous influence on our behavior is self-esteem. How we feel, based on the image we have of ourselves, determines the goals we choose, the relationships we maintain, and the intensity of our emotions. But how can we achieve good self-esteem?
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by Staff Writer, July 4th, 2019
Self-esteem stems from a job well done. It isn’t a lottery that we might win one day – it’s the fruit of our own personal efforts. When we look for definite results, we have to understand that that entails a process, and that process requires time.
Self-esteem is also 0ne of the pillars that makes up the human personality. In 2009, Abraham Maslow said that we need the esteem and respect that are born inside of us in the form of self-esteem. He also said that we need it from others, in the form of status, recognition, or social success.
When we lack self-esteem, we feel inferior, helpless, and discouraged and don’t trust our ability to handle things. We often waste our efforts and look to external comparisons. We focus our thoughts and actions to try and balance out our personality.
Creating a Perception of Ourselves
Considered an attitude (García, Cermeño, and Fernández, 1991), self-esteem is the way that we can create a perception of ourselves. We use it to judge how we think and feel about ourselves, and how to treat ourselves as well. It has a lot to do with how we handle and evaluate our own identity.
First of all, in order to speak about the cognitive component in self-esteem, we need to make a distinction between what’s understood by self-esteem and what’s understood by self-concept.
Self-concept is defined as the image we have of ourselves in the cognitive, perceptual and affective dimensions. Self-concept would be associated with the representation that people have of themselves.
Self-esteem, on the other hand, is understood as the positive or negative assessment that a person makes regarding their own self-concept. This includes the emotions associated with them and the attitudes the people have towards themselves.
Self-Esteem Comes with Time
Having goals to pursue, setting goals, and fighting for them is very closely related to well-being and mental health. Setting goals in a positive way affects other areas of our lives and allows us to control important psychological aspects such as attention, self-confidence, or motivation.
One of the main reasons or symptoms of depression is the loss of hope and interest in our objectives. Dr. Ellis states that self-esteem problems arise from certain ways of thinking. These can either be irrational, illogical, or self-destructive.
Sometimes, our way of thinking contains illogical phrases that undermine our self-esteem. Some of these generic and irrational beliefs are:
- Believing that we must be competent and effective in everything.
- Thinking that people have to love us and that we have to have the approval of all the important people around us.
- The things that happened in the past decide our current and future behavior because they’ll always have a definitive influence and will happen again.
- It’s easier to avoid the responsibilities and problems of life rather than facing them.
- Human misfortunes stem from external causes and we can do nothing, or almost nothing, to avoid or control the pain and suffering that they cause us.
Changing our self-esteem isn’t simple. It’s dynamic and sensitive by its very nature, and so modifying it to benefit ourselves isn’t an easy job at all. It’s the result of a series of actions, habits, and aptitudes and it’s something that’s acquired.
“Self-esteem is the reputation we acquire with ourselves.”
-Nathaniel Branden-
Low Self-Esteem is Like Driving through Life with the Parking Brake On
What’s ahead of us and behind us isn’t more important than what we carry inside of us. Neither is it more important than our perception of what we carry inside us, and how we define ourselves. Our quality of life is influenced by self-esteem, and this implies how each person perceives and values themselves. That, as a result, controls their behavior in their family and social circles on an individual level.
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A low or high level of self-esteem affects our relationships with others and reflects in our social lives, and in the skills that we deploy to face the different challenges in our lives.
In conclusion, having low self-esteem makes us feel totally incapable. We enter a negative vicious circle of self-destructive mechanisms, such as negative feelings, obsessive ideas, and misconceptions in how we interpret others’ thoughts and feelings. In short, it makes us less functional and less precise.
Stillness in the Storm Editor: Why did we post this?
Why bother trying to improve yourself? Because the self the venue through which you experience everything, including, taking action in the world. But the self isn’t like a car, it doesn’t just work—it takes work to make it work for you. The self is not only the thing you use to experience the world but it’s the thing you’re discovering through your exploration of the world. What’s more, it’s also the thing you’re creating through your actions and thought processes. Oddly enough, the self is the thing we have the most control over and is the most influential in our lives, despite its elusive nature, it makes sense that trying to improve ourselves is arguably the master key to success in all areas of life. The preceding information discusses the importance of self-work, speaking to techniques, psychology, philosophy, or spirituality. Put simply, there are two choices in life: develop control and mastery over the animal self or let your animal instincts and fears control your life. For many, the tools needed to gain control and liberation therefrom are not available, and so the quest to improve the self seems worthless. But suffering in general is one of many spiritual influences that motivate the individual to become the best version of themselves. This sacred call to realize your full potential is something almost everyone feels at some point in their lives. Those who step forward in this path, despite life’s hardships, transcend suffering and become active players in the Great Work of making the world a better place through their very being.
– Justin
Not sure how to make sense of this? Want to learn how to discern like a pro? Read this essential guide to discernment, analysis of claims, and understanding the truth in a world of deception: 4 Key Steps of Discernment – Advanced Truth-Seeking Tools.
Stillness in the Storm Editor’s note: Did you find a spelling error or grammar mistake? Send an email to [email protected], with the error and suggested correction, along with the headline and url. Do you think this article needs an update? Or do you just have some feedback? Send us an email at [email protected]. Thank you for reading.
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