(Exploring Your Mind) Constantly dropping hints is synonymous with perverse communication. It’s a kind of subtle psychological abuse.
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by Staff Writer, February 9th, 2019
People commonly drop hints instead of saying what they really think. However, dropping hints on your partner, family, or friends on a daily basis can lead to tension. Because those who say one thing and deep down mean the opposite distort the communication process and exert a very subtle type of abuse, especially if they focus on pointing fingers and turning the blame around.
People often overlook the power of speech and end up adopting very dangerous habits. In this sense, we sometimes tend to admire those who are able to use sharp sarcasm and those who have the curious and undeniable wit of making us understand something in an indirect way.
It’s obvious that it all depends on the context, the situation, and the moment. However, we can’t deny that there are people who just love to communicate in this ineffective, harmful, and sneaky way.
The question is why people keep doing it if it’s so harmful. People do this for two main reasons. The first, which we mentioned earlier, is that it’s “original”. The second is that it’s a way for the person who’s talking to hide and protect themselves. This way, they can justify themselves with phrases such as “Oh, I didn’t actually mean that”.
Through this “linguistic game” of manipulation, people can tell us something that means a whole different thing. Maybe it can be enriching in a certain context, such as seduction, but it isn’t in many other situations.
“The tendency to aggression is an innate, independent, instinctual disposition in man.”
-Sigmund Freud-
Dropping hints and perverse communication
Dropping hints is something passive-aggressive people tend to do. They’re used to insulting others in a subtle way, turn the blame around, and act distant whenever things don’t go their way. Yes, people drop hints when they’re joking around. However, we should know when this kind of behavior is inappropriate.
Psychology professor Jim K. McNulty from the University of Florida calls this dynamic “indirect hostility”. It’s a deliberate communication flaw characterized by a lack of coherence between what we’re saying and what we intend to communicate.
Also, when people drop hints, they do so with a non-verbal language that can turn out to be very revealing. In it, we may identify gestures and attitudes that convey different emotions such as anger, conflict, and contempt.
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In most cases, the non-verbal communication people use is much more sincere than the verbal one. That’s why the victim first processes the other person’s tone and demeanor before the words themselves.
If this dynamic of dropping hints with the purpose of mocking or humiliating becomes the order of the day, it can turn into psychological abuse. Therefore, dropping hints is synonymous with perverse communication and can severely affect the victim.
How should you react to someone who’s constantly dropping hints?
Professor McNulty, whom we mentioned earlier, is a remarkable expert in the field of affective relationships. In a study he carried out in 2016, he described the most adequate communication strategies in romantic relationships, strategies that can help resolve conflicts.
One of them is avoiding double binds. This term, which was coined by anthropologist Gregory Bateson, defines the use of hints or ambiguous messages that sabotage and suffocate affection and, most importantly, respect.
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Now we know that we shouldn’t drop hints. But what if we’re on the receiving end of the hint-dropping dynamic? How should we react to someone who always drops hints on us?
Here are some strategies that can help.
Keys to help you deal with someone who’s always dropping hints on you
- Demand effective communication: Once you realize that someone is dropping hints on you, you should demand that they communicate clearly. If they say that you’re not “smart” enough to understand, you can demand to have someone “smart” by your side when it’s time to talk.
- Identify the passive-aggressiveness: Many people who constantly drop hints instead of saying what they really mean have a passive-aggressive personality. In these cases, it’s of utmost importance to set boundaries as soon as you can. Make sure that they understand that you won’t accept their attitude and demand they treat you right.
- Also, try to be the best example of what you expect from the other person. If you want sincere communication, communicate sincerely yourself.
- Avoid being controlled: You should remember that there’s a hidden need for control behind this practice. Hints, sarcasm, and mockery are ways of sabotaging other people’s self-esteem, thus making it easier to control them.
- That harmful language can also be a gateway to other unhealthy dynamics that you must identify and put a stop to. Set boundaries as soon as you can.
In conclusion, although it’s true that hint-dropping can be tolerated (and even appreciated) in certain situations, they’re synonymous with perverse communication. Always remember that healthy communication is honest.
Stillness in the Storm Editor: Why did we post this?
There are few problems that give rise to arguably all others, one of those is the unintelligent and immature use of your mind, body, and will in relationships with others—dishonorable and immoral behavior. The Deep State know that the way to keep people enslaved is to ensure they’re constantly arguing with each other without hope of finding any meaningful resolution. The preceding article clearly identifies this problem and offers solutions that individuals can use to begin the slow process of gaining wisdom in the skill and art of social harmony. This is arguably some of the most important information that exists. From a purpose of life perspective, the mission of each individual person and social group is carried out through social interaction. When humanity finally learns how to embrace these laws of free will beings, ages of suffering will finally come to a close and an undreamed-of future of prosperity and splendor will descend from the heavens, approaching the dreams of paradise spoken of by prophets of old.
– Justin
Not sure how to make sense of this? Want to learn how to discern like a pro? Read this essential guide to discernment, analysis of claims, and understanding the truth in a world of deception: 4 Key Steps of Discernment – Advanced Truth-Seeking Tools.
Stillness in the Storm Editor’s note: Did you find a spelling error or grammar mistake? Send an email to [email protected], with the error and suggested correction, along with the headline and url. Do you think this article needs an update? Or do you just have some feedback? Send us an email at [email protected]. Thank you for reading.
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