(Stillness in the Storm Editor) We’re implicitly social creatures. We are biologically, neurologically, psychologically, and spiritually designed to associate with other people, things and beings. Finding a balance between a healthy desire for social interaction is essential. Social media helps this in some ways, but it isn’t a replacement for true fulfillment and meaningful fellowship.
Self-actualization is the process of developing all your potentials, which invariably leads to fulfillment, self-confidence, self-worth, and resilience. It also provides a personal foundation for you to feel capable of forming deep, rich relationships with other people—which is a vital human need.
There are two ways we self-actualize, two ways we know thyself. Both are important but one cannot replace the other. Both are meant to work together.
As individuals, we self-actualize by pursuing our values through our desires. We seek to realize a goal, which requires investigation and the seeking of truth so as to develop a working knowledge about what is needed to accomplish our goal. With this knowledge, we creatively come up with a plan for how to realize our desires. Acting on that plan produces a result that reflects back to us the quality of our knowledge and skill—it shows us who we are. In this way, we prove to ourself our worth through pursuing something meaningful. The more challenging and valuable the goal, the more growth that is required to achieve it, the more self-worth and self-actualization that is imparted.
Pride, in this sense, is not bad at all, it is merely the recognition that you are a capable, competent, intelligent person—because you actually did something worthwhile. Pride without true accomplishment is destructive because it is inherently self-deceptive. How you can be proud of something you didn’t really do? You can’t, hence you’ll need to rely on others recognizing your false pride to feel good about yourself. Thus, in a world of increasingly less personal challenge and development, social media can falsely impart self-worth through association with others.
Socially, we self-actualize by forming connections with people that we value, and who in turn, value us. When we see the value in another’s accomplishments, we feel good about ourselves because they expressed our values. If we express our appreciation toward this person, and it is received well, it creates a social connection, an ingroup identification. Ingroup status is the feeling like we have a “tribe”—a group of people we value and who, in turn, value us. We yearn for association with people we value, we want to be friends with people that share our beliefs.
But if we have nothing to reveal to others, if we have not worked hard to develop a skill and produce things we value so as to feel healthy pride, we have nothing to “show off” to others. Social self-actualization is all about sharing yourself with others so they accept and see the value in you that you see too. Of course, if you haven’t done anything meaningful with yourself, if you have no pride in your accomplishments because you’re not doing anything you value, social self-actualization doesn’t impart lasting stability and upliftment. It only gives you a false sense of pride.
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First things first.
If you don’t have something to feel good about yourself in a social situation, you’ll be tempted to draw on the accomplishments of others. You’ll become a “fan-boy or fan-girl,” living vicariously through others. It will feel good, it will feel like you’re self-actualizing because you are knowing yourself by identifying something you like and value in others. However, you didn’t actually challenge yourself, and as such, any feelings of acceptance of self you enjoy through the social interaction will be short-lived.
Enter FOMO.
Fear of missing out, I would argue, appears more in people who lack the individual self-actualization mentioned earlier. Hence, the key to correcting FOMO is to develop yourself, to do something you value that is challenging.
The less you work hard to do the things you value, so you can feel proud of yourself, the more disconnected you’ll feel from others because you know, deep down, you have nothing of value to offer them. This creates a nasty situation where you pull away from yourself, and seek the acceptance of others. Boredom, in this sense, is often the feeling of being disinterested in life because we aren’t motivated to do something challenging that we value.
Social media, in our age of endless distractions and lack of self-development, engenders this FOMO effect because we can create social groups around people that we think are worth associating with. But the problem is that we’re not getting all our needs through social media.
We need physical contact with other human beings. We need face to face interaction, which stimulates areas of the brain that are designed for person to person contact. Social media, obviously, doesn’t provide that. Hence, even if you are working hard on yourself, the social self-actualization provided through social media is only part of what we truly need.
In the final analysis, we need to develop ourselves and we need to show off our accomplishments to others. This isn’t about ego or selfish pride. It is an inherent biological and spiritual need that we can’t ignore. Deep down we want to develop ourselves in such a way we have something good to offer the world. But social media can’t be the only way to express our accomplishments. Nore can it replace true self-accomplishment through fandom. If we try to make it the only one, FOMO becomes increasingly a problem to contend with.
Consider this as you use social media. When you feel FOMO ask yourself if you can do something, for yourself, that will challenge you.
The “magic” that comes from self-work and pursuing your values is that when you accomplish something you’re proud of, you naturally want to show it to others. This isn’t bad. It isn’t ego. But it can be if you’re trying to overemphasis your self-worth. Thus, there is a balance to be struck, and this is one of life’s challenges.
– Justin
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by Staff Writer, May 22nd, 2019
If you think your life is going way too fast or that you always have to be aware of what your friends post on social media, and if your smartphone, tablet, or preferred electronic device is a fundamental tool in your life, this article about FOMO may interest you.
Social media has fooled us all at least once. When you go on social media and check your contacts’ profiles, you think their lives are incredibly interesting and fun. At least that’s what it seems. You may also feel the need (a borderline obsessive one, actually) to be checking your phone constantly to be aware of everything. And when you don’t, you feel left behind. In addition to this, you may begin to experience discomfort, anxiety and/or fear of social exclusion or loneliness. If so, then welcome to the world of fear of missing out, also known as FOMO.
Slowly but surely, our brain gets tired due to our obsession to be connected to social media all the time. In fact, it’s quite detrimental to our health to only pay attention to what goes on online. By doing this, emotions such as envy, fear of being left out, and jealousy may come to the surface, especially if we compare ourselves to others.
Be honest with yourself and analyze if any of the things we’ve mentioned pertain to you. Also, keep in mind that FOMO isn’t the only social media/technology related phobia going around. Nomophobia, on the other hand, is the irrational fear of being without your phone. Another common phenomenon is phubbing, which refers to ignoring your surroundings by only paying attention to your phone. However, these last two are deeply connected to FOMO.
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FOMO or Fear of Missing Out
The need to constantly check your phone and be aware of your friends’ latest posts can lead to unnecessary suffering. While most of us are curious about what’s going on in the online world, this fascination can become so extreme it can turn into a clinical picture.
The fear of not being updated with what’s happening online, plus the tendency to be comparing our lives to other people’s, often fills us up with feelings of pessimism and deep sadness. It increases our insecurity levels and makes us believe that our life is inferior to our friends’. Little by little, it isolates us from the world and reduces our ability to concentrate on important things.
FOMO also has the power to condition the value we give to our own achievements. We become more aware of what’s happening on social media networks than in real life. Without a doubt, events such as parties, exotic excursions, dinners at expensive restaurants, or work achievements set a trend in the social media world. However, keep in mind that this exhibition is partial and that it rarely constitutes an accurate vision of the reality of the person who published the post.
If being offline makes you angsty and anxious and stresses you out, you’re probably a victim of FOMO. Therefore, it’s very important to make an effort to try to regulate your emotions. Remember that having more real than virtual contacts makes planning fun activities possible.
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Wanting to Know Everything that’s Happening Online
Smartphones are very powerful tools. However, they’re also a permanent distractor that can condition our lives. The constant need to check everything that’s happening on the Internet may stem from an inner desire to receive approval and admiration from others. Undoubtedly, we’re all curious about what happens. However, the best thing we can do is keep said curiosity from taking the helm of our lives.
Likewise, you should know that FOMO affects mostly young people with some kind of family or social dependence. They often use social media networks to build and reaffirm their identity. This explains why they don’t want to miss anything that’s happening in the virtual world.
Finally, it’s important to note that not living such a busy, luxurious life is okay. Those who portray that kind of lifestyle on social media may not even be 100% happy with their lives. However, if someone you follow brags about the things they do, it’s okay to see it; what’s not okay is comparing yourself or your life to theirs. It’s just not worth it.
Instead of focusing on the online world so much, work hard to build a great life for yourself in the real world. We assure you that this is way more satisfying than creating an online persona just to get views and likes.
Stillness in the Storm Editor: Why did we post this?
Social media is one of the most influential aspects of modern-day life. Neurological processes within consciousness are designed to seek out social values and express them in life situations, governing a person’s self-worth as a function of how well they are accepted by their peers. Thus, one of the best ways to manipulate a society is to manipulate the social spheres. The preceding information reveals a deleterious effect of modern-day social engineering, which is designed by the Deep State to manage a population’s beliefs, values, and ways of thinking, amongst many other things. The fact so many people crave social acceptance and are willing to subject themselves to perils in the process, only proves the point even more. We crave recognition as a function of knowing thyself. Thus, the spiritual values in the interpersonal domain are stimulated greatly through social media, as one seeks to know themselves through reflections in others. With this knowledge in hand, one can begin the slow process of retuning their value system to one of extrinsic to intrinsic foundation. Social media extrinsically augments an individual’s values through social influence, often with ill effects. But once one recognizes that they are being manipulated through their social urges they can seek better means of satisfying these needs without compromising personal and cosmic values in the process.
– Justin
Not sure how to make sense of this? Want to learn how to discern like a pro? Read this essential guide to discernment, analysis of claims, and understanding the truth in a world of deception: 4 Key Steps of Discernment – Advanced Truth-Seeking Tools.
Stillness in the Storm Editor’s note: Did you find a spelling error or grammar mistake? Send an email to [email protected], with the error and suggested correction, along with the headline and url. Do you think this article needs an update? Or do you just have some feedback? Send us an email at [email protected]. Thank you for reading.
Source:
https://exploringyourmind.com/fomo-or-fear-of-missing-out-what-is-it-about/
I see people who obsessed with their phone and cannot function without it in front of them 24/7 as being socially inept, and unable t actually have a conversation, they use the phone to hide behind or make out they are too busy to join in speak, some even take pictures of the food and post it to get ‘likes’ for crisakes..
We would all be better off without a SMART phone at ALL,