(Stillness in the Storm Editor) What power does a positive attitude have? Some would say, invoking positivity in an otherwise negative situation is foolhardy, misguided, weak, and ineffective. But research suggests that the reverse is true. The most successful people in life often report that it was their constructive attitude that helped them turn hardship into accomplishment. What’s the secret?
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Psychologically, a positive attitude is the ability to remain inspired, open, creative, industrious, and cheerful despite various situations in life. This directly affects the alert systems in the brain that are designed to fire when you feel threatened.
Neurologically, anything we encounter in life that we feel we can’t handle programs the brain to be anxious in response. This anxiety increases stress hormones, reducing holistic thinking, causing fight or flight responses that lead to even more disempowerment. The more you believe you’re living in a world you can’t handle, the more triggered and fearful you feel, literally causing your creative problem-solving mind to shut down. Eventually, anxiety attacks and a consistent sense of victimhood and disempowerment makes life a constant reminder of your lack of fulfillment.
Sounds pretty bleak, right?
Well, a positive attitude can fix the situation.
The fact is, life can be hard and unfair. But making things worse by invoking a toxic negative attitude doesn’t do anything but make you miserable.
Cultivating a positive attitude, which is the belief that you can handle any situation because you believe in yourself and your potential, acts as a kind of mind hack.
Neurologically, it activates the bravery response, reduces stress and anxiety, and gives your neocortex (the creative mind) a chance to solve the problem. The more you believe in yourself, the more likely you are to face challenges and gain wisdom. The more wisdom you have, the easier life becomes because you can successfully meet challenges.
Regardless of your situation, a positive attitude is a good thing to cultivate.
A culture of victimhood holds one back from embracing positivity completely because misery loves company when it comes to hardship in life. But don’t let the mindless ebb and flow of the victimhood entrenched masses put out your light.
You’re more powerful than you might think. And each person who chooses positivity, despite the social trend of victimhood, acts as a positive example for others.
Cheerfulness might just be the best way to do everything in your life, as was proffered by spiritualists throughout history.
– Justin
() We tend to view looking on the bright side as silly or stupid. We see it as annoying and inauthentic. We see it as naïve and immature.
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Sometimes, we see looking on the bright side as infuriating, especially if we’re going through a tough time.
However, as psychotherapist Genesis Games, LMHC, pointed out, “Looking at the bright side is not negating the pain, hurt, and despair. Some situations are truly heartbreaking and beyond difficult.”
Rather, it’s about not letting painful or traumatic experiences define us and negatively shape our lives, said Games, who specializes in working with individuals, couples, and families struggling with relationship issues, breakups, addiction, and life transitions in Miami, Fla.
It’s about “tak[ing] our power back.”
When we look on the bright side, we aren’t sugarcoating a situation, said Bonnie Compton, APRN, BC, CPNP, a child and adolescent therapist and parent coach. Instead, we don’t want to be stuck, or “give any more negative energy to the situation.”
Most of us tend toward negative thinking. It’s just how humans are built (and how some of us were bred). Focusing on the dangers is how we defend ourselves and stay safe. But taking up residence in that space also can paralyze us, lead us to overlook opportunities, and stop us from building and living a fulfilling life.
Below, Games and Compton shared seven realistic suggestions for looking on the bright side—which don’t feel fake or forced.
Embrace your emotions, while moving forward. Again, looking on the bright side isn’t about ignoring what exists, particularly inside our hearts. Which is why Games stressed the importance of identifying and feeling all your emotions—without judging them.
“All emotions are valid”—even when they seem to contradict each other. “[M]ultiple, often conflicting, emotions can co-exist at once,” she said.
So, we can feel a variety of emotions, and we can also move on. Genesis shared these examples of statements you might tell yourself: “This is unfair and it hurts, and it also gives me the opportunity to do ______,” and “This hurts and will hurt for a while, and [I also can] reinvent myself.”
Engage in physical activities. “Movement helps release the tension emotions create in our bodies,” Games said. In a way, movement helps to prime our bodies for the bright side. It triggers feel-good endorphins and channels our emotions into positive action.
For instance, Games said, you might practice yoga, go for a jog, dance, or take a kickboxing class. Think about the movement your body is currently craving, and choose that.
Fast forward. In the moment, when we’re in the midst of painful emotions—guilt, shame, sadness, sorrow, embarrassment—certain situations can feel unbearable. It can feel like these situations and our feelings will last forever.
But most won’t—a fact that Compton suggested we remind ourselves of. With that, she also suggested we ask ourselves this question: “How important will this be in 5 days, [5 weeks, 5 months], 5 years?“
Become a detective. Looking on the bright side can be playful. Think of yourself as an investigator, scientist, or journalist looking for the smallest of wonders. Look up. Look down. Look closer. Look at everything with fresh, new eyes. Your surroundings. Your objects. Your interactions with others. Get curious, and let yourself be amazed by even the tiniest of gestures and things.
Maybe you even make this into a daily habit, challenging yourself to find one or five small wonders to appreciate. If you have kids, you can do this as a family.
Refocus your energy. Put that energy toward “what you do have the power to change,” Games said. She shared this example: You took the LSAT and scored below average, and naturally you’re really upset. “The reality is that despite how you feel about it or what you think about the exam, you did not do as well as you need to.” However, focusing on how the exam is a scam or that you don’t perform well on standardized tests isn’t helpful— “because you can’t change the structure of the exam and the truth is some people are just gifted when it comes to standardized tests.”
But you can focus on how you prepare for your next LSAT: “You can try new study methods, take courses, find a tutor, devote more time [to studying], [and] learn strategies to manage your test-taking anxiety…You can feel frustrated, disappointed, and anxious, while also taking the aforementioned steps to improve your score.”
Play devil’s advocate. Games encouraged readers to challenge and reframe fatalistic beliefs. The key is that the new belief resonates with you. She shared these examples:
- “Bad things always happen to me” can become “Good and bad things happen to everyone.”
- “I don’t deserve good things” or “I don’ deserve to be happy” can become “There is no valid reason why I should condemn myself to unhappiness or sabotage when good things come my way.”
- “I am not lovable” can become “I am lovable because I am human.”
- “Everyone I love leaves me” can become “Some people we love will leave us, but some will stay. I have the inner strength to cope when those I love leave me.”
Get outside of yourself. This could include volunteering or working on a creative project that brought you joy in the past, such as painting or even playing with playdough, said Compton, author of the book Mothering with Courage: The Mindful Approach to Becoming a Mom Who Listens More, Worries Less, and Loves Deeply.
It also could mean getting outside and connecting to nature. For instance, you might take several slow, deep breaths and look up at the sky, Compton said. “If it’s cloudy, [remind] yourself that above the dark clouds, the sun is still there and will appear once again,” she said (perhaps a metaphor for your current situation).
All of these activities help to shift your attention, energy, and mindset.
Looking on the bright side can feel fake when we throw around clichés like “It will all be OK,” “Everything happens for a reason,” and “Good vibes only,” Games said.
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However, when we choose to reframe our perspective, what we’re really doing is supporting and energizing ourselves. What we’re really doing is moving forward and giving ourselves the space to cope effectively and healthfully. What we’re really doing is acknowledging the pain, and telling ourselves, This is hard, and it will heal.
Stillness in the Storm Editor: Why did we post this?
Consciousness is one of the most mysterious phenomena of all time. Scientists, philosophers, and mystics have been searching for the answer to the question, What is Consciousness? for most of human history. In modern times, the spiritual origins of consciousness are being replaced with a materialistic view, that awareness emerges as an additive property of electrical impulses in living things. Despite the fact this theory is assumed to be true, any self-respecting psychologist will tell you we have no idea what consciousness really is. The preceding article discusses consciousness, some of its properties, and possible origins. This is helpful to contemplate because, in the act of trying to understand the mysteries of consciousness, you develop critical thinking skills and stimulate your philosophic muscles, both which are immensely important for almost everything we do in life. Additionally, you’ll develop abstract thinking skills, the ability to explore intangible realities that govern material realms. With the power of an active mind capable of navigating the realities of consciousness, great leaps in personal attainment can be made along with preparing you for the Great Work of making this world a better place.
– Justin
Not sure how to make sense of this? Want to learn how to discern like a pro? Read this essential guide to discernment, analysis of claims, and understanding the truth in a world of deception: 4 Key Steps of Discernment – Advanced Truth-Seeking Tools.
Stillness in the Storm Editor’s note: Did you find a spelling error or grammar mistake? Send an email to [email protected], with the error and suggested correction, along with the headline and url. Do you think this article needs an update? Or do you just have some feedback? Send us an email at [email protected]. Thank you for reading.
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