This is a good article to cover the topic of codependency. Here on earth the social definition of love promulgated by our hidden masters is one of external love. We can only love others by pleasing them. This idea is spewed out in so many instances that it has the effect of seeding the collective consciousness to accept this as love instead of the harmonized love within the universe at large; self love as the foundation projected in appreciation outwardly.
This basic concept is so important if one wants to live a happy life and avoid frustrations. When we try to please it is a from of controlling in a sense, and anytime a thing we are attempting control does not work out, the only result is frustration; unless we can remove ourselves from the resultant effect. We can have a desire to make someone happy, but not be expectant on the result; kind of a divine dichotomy. An allowance for what is meant to be to manifest is key, if one tries to force a situation that is not right for that time, it will not present it self.
Seven ways chronic people pleasing ruins your health
Thursday, August 01, 2013 by: Mike Bundrant
How does people pleasing lead you into a quagmire of chronic stress? Here are seven examples:
1.When you are on autopilot as a people pleaser, interestingly, the people you are pleasing end up taking you for granted. Ultimately, they will take advantage of you by not reciprocating, leaving you with a feeling of chronic resentment.
2. Anxiety. People pleasing goes hand in hand with social anxiety. You please to get approval, which you
rarely experience no matter how much you please. Why? Because others do not possess the power to give you the deep approval you seek, ultimately.
3. Going along with the crowd. Anytime you go along with the crowd, you give yourself up to crowd mentality, which is often unhealthy. Overeating and drinking all kinds of unhealthy social behavior are the result.
4. Meets never met. As a people pleaser, you are very likely to neglect your own needs. Taking time for
yourself, relaxing, learning and growing as an individual takes a back seat to the demands of others.
5. Lack of support. We all need support from others. People pleasers, sadly, tend to get less support
because they do not ask for it or demand it, simply.
6. Loneliness. Connection is a basic human need that when neglected causes stress. People pleasers are often lonely and feel empty inside because nobody sees who they are or what they need.
7. Self-loathing. So many people pleasers hate themselves because they do not speak up or
stand up for themselves. In a state of self-loathing, it is so hard to take care of yourself and your health.
Chronic people pleasing is self-sabotage Let’s call a spade a spade. Serving others is noble. Chronic people pleasing at the expense of your own needs is self-sabotage.
The real mind blower is that people pleasers often have an unconscious program that is bent toward being controlled by others. They experience the issue passively, as if they had no power to reverse it.
People pleasers put others in charge of them by virtue of their subservient actions and go-along attitude. This is called a control attachment – a pervasive tendency to seek to be controlled by others.
You can reverse your tendency toward people pleasing by learning about the deeper tendencies involved and unraveling them. When you see the issue clearly, you can begin go make other choices that balance your needs with the needs of others.
If you tend to be a people pleaser and are unfulfilled, please watch the free AHA Solution video that discusses self-sabotage and psychological attachments. It’s a place to begin your journey toward greater independence.
If not now, when?
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Watch the free video The AHA! Process: An End to Self-Sabotage and discover the lost keys to personal transformation and emotional well-being that have been suppressed by mainstream mental health for decades.
The information in this video has been called the missing link in mental health and personal development. In a world full of shallow, quick-fix techniques, second rate psychology and pharmaceutical takeovers, real solutions have become nearly impossible to find. This presentation willturn your world upside down.